She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
