Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
