im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
