dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
