actually, I'm a sock model
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
