Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
