i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
