I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just googled if crying burns calories
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
