and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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