So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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