i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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