Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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