I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
