Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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