I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
