In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
