So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
