Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
