I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
