I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
