OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
