Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
