This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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