Where is the hickey?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
