You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize