This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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