i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
