you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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