this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
