I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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