Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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