porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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