i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
