When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
