HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
