They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
