we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
