I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
