so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
