I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
