Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
