he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
