just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
