Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
from now on my penis is your penis
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
