Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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