Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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