one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
