so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
