He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
