the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
