the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
