I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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