I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
