That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
