Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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